It's that time of year again...

And no, I am not talking about Christmas.

I’m talking about the NHL All-Star Weekend! Ah yes, All-Star Weekend, where all the stars of the National Hockey League come out to showcase their talents.

Now that this memorable weekend is all wrapped up, let’s recap. Starting with

THE SKILLS COMPETITION

I thought the Ottawa crowd was very respectable to all of the stars, with the exception of Lupul and Kessel.

Most of the events actually caught me by surprise when they started, especially the Bridgestone Fastest Skater. It wasn’t nearly as thrilling as it was last year, simply because there was no Timmy Thomas falling and recovering like the goddamn boss that he is.

The helmet cams on the goaltenders were actually one of the highlights of the night. Not the view from the goalie cams either, but just how silly they looked with a freaking camera strapped to their head.

The Breakaway Challenge might have been even better than last year. And screw you, Liam McHugh. We don’t need Ovechkin or Crosby for this to be enjoyable. Patrick Kane and Corey Perry did a fine job at providing entertainment. Speaking of which, I thought we were going to get some kind of Perry strip tease when he dropped his gloves and lifted up his jersey.

Not going to lie, I got a little excited.

But can you guess who the real show stopper in all of this was? I’ll give you a hint.

He dons a red sweater and loves to party.

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…..
………

If you guessed Carey Price, you’re right! Absolutely stole the show.

I mean look

And if anyone should feel embarrassed, it’s Sean Couturier. Why? Because when Price was playing backwards goaltending he made a stop on the little toothless rookie.

ALL HAIL JAMIE BENN THE MOST ACCURATE ACCURARY SHOOTER IN ALL THE LAND.

No really, in the final round of the Accuracy Shooting, I kept thinking to myself: this guy is going to own everyone’s shit right now.

If there was a competition for most poorly managed hair it’d be a tight competition between him and Hartnell. Seeing those two in the same shot is a little overwhelming on an HD television.

The other show-stopper we must all bow down to is Captain Zdeno Chara, who yet again, broke his record in the Hardest Shot competition. Armed with a Warrior stick, Big Z ripped a slapper hitting 108.8 miles per hour. What astounds me is how effortless it looks.

Fun fact: HE CAN DO 50 PULLUPS. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THAT????!?

Things you don’t want to stand in front of: a grizzly bear, a semi truck, and this

But back on the topic of Carey Price, who thinks the NHL should make goaltenders entertaining the crowd part of the competition? If the fans get to vote for the best breakaway, they should be able to vote for the wackiest goaltending performance. They can even use props. Whether they stop the puck or not, it doesn’t matter, it’ll just be a fan vote and the winning goaltender will pick up a point for their team. Sound like a good idea? Leave your opinions in the comments.

NOW, LET US RECAP THE ASG.

I predicted a Team Chara rout, but it was actually a pretty exciting game. Even better than last year. It was tied 3-3 after the first period, and then tied 6-6 after the second. The intensity was building. Questions rose. WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE THIRD? WILL IT GO INTO OVERTIME?

Gaborik came out flying, scoring two on his teammate King Henrik. He went on to get the hat trick and win MVP. Alfie would have probably gotten MVP if he got the hatty, simply because he was in Ottawa. But Timmy Thomas barred the door in the third and those goal posts were rung about 30 times.

Oh and THIS happened

I’ve also concluded that Timmy and Carey very much enjoy each other’s presence, but I believe Carey likes Timmy much more than Timmy likes Carey. But that’s okay. They’re both weirdos and I appreciate them both in all their weirdo glory.

Well, my fellow hockey fans, it was nice getting along with you.

But now, we must get back to tearing each others’ throats out!